Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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