I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
