and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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