i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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