i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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