why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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