I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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