definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
