youre lurking in front of me
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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