I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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