Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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