he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
