You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
