belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize