Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
