Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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