he wants to bone in the snuggie
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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