I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
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I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have so much sex to catch up on
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
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