My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
