you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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