Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm at about main and main street
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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