She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
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