She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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