Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Randomize
