Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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