i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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