I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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