i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
