lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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