one two three fourrrrnication!
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
