3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
