i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
