He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize