i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.â€
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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