Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize