But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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