The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
