We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
