The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize