I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
People in love make me want to vomit
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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