i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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