where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
