Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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