Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
