Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
