is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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