nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
