She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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