I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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