You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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