But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
