Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
