Having a random hookup so left but love u
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
