there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize