I can text with my tongue
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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