smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
