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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim

  Fav 18 2120 947

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis

  Fav 46 5013 1091

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.

  Fav 13 948 4583

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• (707): View more from California

  My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."

  Fav 52 16690 2201

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (239): View more from Florida

  While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?

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• (386): View more from Florida

  Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?

  Fav 13 1179 587

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (818): View more from California

  The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.

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• (858): View more from California

  But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C

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• (916): View more from California

  Were you citizens arresting people again last night?

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!

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