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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?

  Fav 18 1318 4229

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..

  Fav 9 4839 836

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.

  Fav 15 1259 4357

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days

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• (325): View more from Texas

  Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...

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• (305): View more from Florida

  you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out

  Fav 20 6182 1449

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.

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  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

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• (661): View more from California

  I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL

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• (813): View more from Florida

  For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.

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• (415): View more from California

  Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵

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