I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven