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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  what's the vibe there?

  (917): View more from New York City

  extraordinary amounts of gine

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (818): View more from California

  Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  no more duck duck goose at the bar

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (916): View more from California

  My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.

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