So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Don't say a word.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.