I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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