she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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