she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
