Dual....:-)
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
