I seem to have left my pride at pride
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
