Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Its about making memories worth repressing
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
