"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
