just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
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