his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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